Practice of Spirituality & Sexuality
Loneliness from disconnection lies at the heart of every argument or cold silence, fueling your disappointment or resentment. You’re both committed to your marriage, but you feel like you’re drifting and just existing together in your day to day lives. Your spiritual practice of sexuality started out vibrant and joyful, but is now nonexistent and the spark has gone out. You don’t communicate and connect. The only time you connect is during unfulfilling practice of sexuality.
Resentment can lead to the emotional and physical distance that ultimately tears your relationship apart.
You experience fear and shame, both in different ways.
Her: Disconnection makes her feel anxious-isolated and afraid.
Him: Dissatisfaction with him makes him feel like a failure – ashamed. His shame is too great to allow him to understand her fear, and her fear keeps her from seeing his shame.
When they try to alleviate their feelings of vulnerability in opposite ways – by talking and not talking – all they end up sharing are disappointment and heartache.
He feels heightened sensitivity to feeling shame and inadequacy in life and emotionally. His impulse when he feels shame is to hide, so he can’t tell her about it. He disguises it with annoyance, impatience, or anger.
Each time he rejects her attempts for connection or raises his voice in anger purely to protect himself, he’s pushing her further away and deeper into the pain of isolation.
When a woman feels close, she can relax, when she feels distance, she gets anxious. Heightened sensitivity to isolation makes females react strongly to another person’s anger, withdrawal, silence, or other sign of unavailability.
My clients come to me because they’re feeling disconnected from the joy and vibrancy they first felt in their relationship. Things have changed in their marriage and daily life so drastically that they feel emotionally and physically isolated and alone. They don’t feel like their partner’s priority; like they’re not attractive, or worth seeing. Maybe they’ve had big medical or physical changes that impacted their practice sexuality, and things aren’t spontaneous like they used to be. Or maybe you want to explore a deeper connection, more satisfaction, or explore things you’re curious about, and want to be conscious about your partner’s comfort.
Couples therapy with mind-body-spirit wellness ignites the practice of spirituality and sexuality where there is presence and pleasure – pleasurable oneness.