Couples Who Want To Want To Desire
Couples Who Want To Want To Connect
Are hurt feelings in the driver’s seat of your marriage? You may feel your emotional disconnection caused your physical disconnection. Your intimate partner may feel your physical disconnection caused your emotional disconnection. Is it the chicken or the egg?
It is a dangerous slippery slope. You get so busy with work and the job of kiddos. One of you prefers to make love in the evening and the other prefers the morning. You miss each other. Your sexual distress loosens your connection. Desire wanes. You don’t even talk about it anymore for fear of more arguments and more lost sleep.
COUPLES WHO FEEL LONELY IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP
Resentment grows. You aren’t there for each other in the ways of a romantic partner. You feel more like roommates than lovers. When there is an absence of a safe bond or connection, there’s less, if any, sex. When there’s no sex, there’s not a safe bond or connection. The least little thing irritates you. There’s fear and insecurity. You feel lonely in your relationship. This loneliness can lead to:
*Stress and Other Medical Conditions
HOLD ME TIGHT HOLD ME CLOSE
How do you make your way back to love and deep bonding connection? Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, author of “Hold Me Tight – Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” says that love is a language. If you speak the love language, it flows more and more easily.
When you are disconnected, you slide into hurt feelings and get stuck in the same arguments and patterns of one partner reaching to know you see, feel and understand your pain while the other withdraws in shame and trying to keep the peace. Are you accessible, responsive, and engaged when I need you most? You are lonelier than you thought was possible in marriage.
DURHAM COUPLES MIND-BODY CONNECTOR | AS ONE
I am a Black mind-body-spirit wellness educator and an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist. I integrate Couples & Meditation Therapy to give my clients experiential talk therapy. Couples have healing conversations and as one wellness moments of connection of breath and consciousness. Couples hold onto the deep connections they make in our sessions. There’s calmness and joy as a result of emotional connection. We know what happens when there’s emotional connection – physical connection, as one mind-body wellness. And what happens when the physical connections seem awkward or unsatisfying? Let’s create space for this topic next week.
Linda Hobbs, MSS, MBA, LCSW
Founder, As One Wellness, PLLC
ONLINE THERAPY EVERYWHERE IN NORTH CAROLINA
One intention you can set to start getting your sexy best friend back is to create rituals of as one wellness connection around when either of you return home. An example would be to greet your lover at the door for 2 minutes of embrace or holding hands, eye gazing, synchronizing your breath, heart to heart, and/or kissing. This signifies that you matter and the whole world stops and revolves around our deep connection, as one. It is up to the two of you to choose what resonates and then apply, daily.
BEGIN WEEKLY COUPLES & MEDITATION THERAPY
Invest in the most important relationship in your life. Improve your as one wellness and get balance on all levels of your life – emotional, mental, physical and energy.